Tone: Playful

Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Maybe Later

    An eight-year-old kid swaggered into the lounge of the hotel and demanded of the barmaid, “Give me a double Scotch on the rocks.”

    “What do you want to do, get me in trouble?” the barmaid asked.

    “Maybe later,” the kid said. “Right now, I just want the Scotch.”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Sting Operation

    Did you hear about the bee who got busted for visiting a prostitute?

    It was a sting operation.

  • Put Some Xs

    Put Some Xs

    See you later, love you xxx

    Love you too

    Babe it would mean a lot to me if you’d put some X’s at the end of your replies xxx

    Ok, love you too Donna, Jackie, Karen and Becky

    Fuckin prick!!!

  • Piano Man Gay Bar

    Piano Man Gay Bar

    notquitesoancient: you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

    mooncustafer: New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.

    skeleton-richard: #that makes the ‘man what are you doing here’ line way funnier

  • 14 Dollars of Soda

    14 Dollars of Soda

    vivivictoria: hey gang im ordering 14 dollars worth of soda and nothing else from my local dominos

    im thorsty

    vivivictoria: He better not fucking have

    YOUR ORDER IS IN THE OVEN – Majkiiwis put your order in the oven at 2:47 PM.

  • Quit Making Spectacles of Yourselves

    A monocle strolls into a bar. After a couple of drinks, he starts feeling pretty great (and a bit unsteady). He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender cuts him off. “Sorry, pal, but city rules ban smoking inside. You’ll have to go outside if you want to smoke.”

    So the monocle jumps down from the bar stool and picks up his cigarettes to head out. At the same time, a second monocle comes out of the bathroom. They collide as they pass each other and tumble to the ground, completely twisted together. They attempt to untangle themselves, but the harder they try, the more knotted they get.

    The bartender stares down at the mess and shakes his head. “Hey, you two!” he yells. “Quit making spectacles of yourselves!”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Yes, We Arson

    Kid: Dad, are we pyromaniacs?

    Dad: Yes, we arson.

  • Shout Out to Librarians

    I’d like to give a shout out to all of the librarians…

    …oh… oh, yeah… I’m sorry.

  • Prophets Going Through the Roof

    I just opened a store selling trampolines disguised as prayer mats.

    Prophets are going through the roof!

  • Hit the Roof

    I told my wife that I’ve swapped our bed for a trampoline.

    She hit the roof!