The other day, I was reminded of the old cowboy saying that goes, “You can fry a fish in a pan of gunpowder, but that don’t make it AHHHHHHH, MY CHAPS ARE ON FIRE!!!” I can’t quite remember what made me think of it, but I recall I was texting on the highway at the time.
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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When it comes to my bucket list, I find it’s easier to do stuff first, then add it to
When it comes to my bucket list, I find it’s easier to do stuff first, then add it to the list. So far, I’ve achieved five years of chastity and the 742nd all-time high score on Frogger.
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HTHDIKWJWD: How the hell do I know what Jesus would do???
HTHDIKWJWD: How the hell do I know what Jesus would do???
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He had me at “Turn it over and pop your hood.”
He had me at “Turn it over and pop your hood.”
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My wife told me: “I need you like the desert needs the rain…
My wife told me: “I need you like the desert needs the rain… once, maybe twice a year, for no more than twenty minutes.”
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Technically, I *am* in touch with reality.
Technically, I *am* in touch with reality. Getting body-slammed is a form of touching.
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I really wish I could spend time alone with my son without my ex-wife hovering above us.
I really wish I could spend time alone with my son without my ex-wife hovering above us. Maybe things will improve in a few months when she finally gives birth.
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Two wrongs don’t make a right.
Two wrongs don’t make a right. But 1.84 wrongs squared, plus a slurred “maybe, butonlycuzI’mdrunk” do.
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At my therapist’s suggestion, I took up painting to try to work through some homicidal
At my therapist’s suggestion, I took up painting to try to work through some homicidal thoughts I’ve been having. If I ever become a famous artist like Picasso, I guess this will be known as my “Douchebag in Wool Cap With Slashed Throat” period.
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So what should we avoid the plague like?
So what should we avoid the plague like?
