An archaeologist found a 2,000-year-old oil stain.
Ancient grease.
Joke Type: one-liner
One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Ancient grease
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Law School
It turns out law school is a lot like elementary school. They assign you a locker, you meet new friends, and pulling the cute redhead’s pigtails still isn’t as good an idea as you think it is.
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Just a shot in the dark
I was trying to get romantic with the new nurse at my doctor’s office, so I asked her to dim the lights before she gave me the tetanus booster.
I guess it was just a shot in the dark. -
You never leave fingerprints behind
The only thing I like about winter is that you wear gloves so much you never leave fingerprints behind.
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Other words and phrases
I bought a pen that can write under water…
It can also write other words and phrases. -
Rose, What Was the Name of the Restaurant?
Two older gentlemen are chatting after dinner while their wives are in the kitchen.
“We had a lovely meal at that new restaurant in town the other night,” said one to the other.
“That’s nice,” said his friend. “What was the name of the restaurant?”
“Oh, what’s the name of the lovely scented flower that grows on a thorny plant?”
“Rose?” replied the friend.
“That’s it.” Then, turning toward the kitchen, the gentleman called out, “Rose, what was the name of the restaurant the other night?”
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I had to put my foot down
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo…
I had to put my foot down.
