One Liner Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Cold Calls

Someone just called my phone and sneezed, coughed, and then hung up.

I’m getting sick of these cold calls.

I was told I could look at the eclipse through a colander.

I tried it, but it strained my eyes.

hawk @hawktherapper

if both basketball teams just worked together they could score so many more points

My wife is learning how to operate a bulldozer.

I’m not going to stand in her way.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set?

You didn’t know? Neither did she.

They say make-up sex is the best, which is lucky, because all my sex is made up.

I just found out that cockfighting is done with chickens. That’s two years of training I’ll never get back.

You know the difference between kinky and perverted?

Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.

Kinky? Use a feather.

Perverted? Use the whole chicken.

If it’s 1 or 1,000 sins, you’re still getting sent to Hell. So why not go for 1,000,000 sins and come down here a legend.

Just found a really old porno on VHS, called Head Cleaner.

Sounds hot.