Joke Type: one-liner

One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • A waist of time

    What do you call a belt made of watches?

    A waist of time.

  • He couldn’t complain

    I asked my North Korean friend how it was there.
    He said he couldn’t complain.

  • Just a figure of speech

    My friend asked me to say a few words at his wife’s funeral, so I stepped up to the podium, cleared my throat, and said, “Curvy, shapely, voluptuous, generously proportioned, full-figured…”

    He stopped me and said, “Dude, what are you saying??”

    I replied, “Sorry… it was just a figure of speech.”

  • It didn’t have any engineers

    Why couldn’t the engine hear?

    It didn’t have any engineers.

  • Ken came in a different box

    Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
    Because Ken came in a different box.

  • Every year it’s Dublin

    Ireland’s capital is the fastest-growing city.
    Every year it’s Dublin.

  • 20 minutes looking for a golf ball

    “What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?”
    “I’ll spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.”

  • The third couldn’t reach

    Three nuns were sitting on a bench in the park when a man ran up and flashed them.
    Two of the nuns had a stroke. The third couldn’t reach.

  • A pain in the ass

    My wife and I tried anal.
    She loved it, but for me, it was a pain in the ass.

  • BINGO

    What has 75 balls and fucks old ladies?
    BINGO.