One Liner Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Musical Peas vs. Hummus Heroes!

What’s the difference between Black Eyed Peas and chickpeas?
Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song, while chickpeas can only hummus one.

What’s long, hard and given to most Polish Women at Least once a month?

A GED Test

Why don’t lesbians like being told what to do?
They don’t like mandates.

The great thing about dating a homeless woman is you can just drop her off anywhere.

I tried to remarry my ex-wife, but that failed.
She figured out I was only after my money.

Like my Grandad always says, go the extra mile in every job that you do.
Lovely man, terrible train driver

What’s black and always in the back of a police car?
The seats.

You know why sharks don’t eat clowns?
They taste funny.

What does a robot do after sex?
Nuts and Bolts.

Why do they put barcodes on the side of ships from Norway?
So they can Scandinavian.