One Liner Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Lesbians and Mandates: A Rejection of Control

Why don’t lesbians like being told what to do?
They don’t like mandates.

The great thing about dating a homeless woman is you can just drop her off anywhere.

I tried to remarry my ex-wife, but that failed.
She figured out I was only after my money.

Like my Grandad always says, go the extra mile in every job that you do.
Lovely man, terrible train driver

What’s black and always in the back of a police car?
The seats.

You know why sharks don’t eat clowns?
They taste funny.

What does a robot do after sex?
Nuts and Bolts.

Why do they put barcodes on the side of ships from Norway?
So they can Scandinavian.

Times New Roman and Lucinda Calligraphy go into a bar.
The barman says “Sorry, we don’t serve your type here”.

My wife left me for a deaf guy.
I should have seen the signs.