Topic: sex

Dark sex jokes, adult memes, awkward hookups, bedroom disasters, and the kind of punchlines that should probably clear their browser history afterward.

  • You Aint Said Nothing About Meing and Meing

    The minister, all fired up because of recent obvious problems of infidelity, shouted out, “I want everyone who has been heing and sheing to stand up!” Half of his congregation stood up.

    He then shouted out, “I want everyone who has been heing and heing to stand up!” A couple of men stood up.

    He then shouted out, “I want everyone who has been sheing and sheing to stand up!” Several women stood up. The minister looked over his congregation and noticed that everyone was standing except Little Johnny.

    The minister shouted out, “Brothers and Sisters, look at Little Johnny, can he be the only one without sin? Little Johnny, stand up… I guess you are the only one here who isn’t preoccupied with sex and committing sins. What do you have to say!”

    Little Johnny replied, “Reverend, you ain’t said nothing about meing and meing!”

  • Better Get a Model That Gets Better Mileage

    Little Johnny catches his parents shagging one afternoon. He yells in, “Hey, Pop! What are you doin’?”

    His father says, “Son, I’m filling your mother’s tank.”

    Johnny says, “Oh, yeah? Well, you better get a model that gets better mileage. The postman filled her this morning.”

  • Rape Game

    Rape Game

    Wanna play the rape game?

    No…

    That’s the spirit

    ifunny.co

  • Ive Never Seen a Smaller Dick in My Life

    A man goes to a urologist.

    Urologist: “Sir, please take off your pants and underpants”.

    The man does so.

    Urologist: “I’m warning you, this is going to hurt”.

    The man says that he’s ready.

    Urologist, laughing: “I’ve never seen a smaller dick in my life!”

  • First Football Game Sex

    First Football Game Sex

    MY FIRST HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL GAME WAS A LOT LIKE THE FIRST TIME I HAD SEX

    I WAS BLOODY AND SORE BUT AT LEAST MY DAD CAME

  • Race Who Comes First

    Race Who Comes First

    WHENEVER I HAVE SEX, IT’S A RACE TO SEE WHO COMES FIRST.

    ME OR THE POLICE.

  • Eat Her Pussy Cat

    Eat Her Pussy Cat

    When your girlfriend invites you over to “eat her pussy” but then she starts stripping her clothes off instead of cooking her cat

    *cries in ching chong*

  • Nose Be 12 Inches

    Nose Be 12 Inches

    WHY CAN’T A NOSE BE 12 INCHES?

    BECAUSE THEN IT WOULD BE A FOOT.

  • Spidey Socks Underwear

    Spidey Socks Underwear

    When she sees that my Spidey man socks match my Spidey man underwear

  • Margaret Glasses

    Margaret Glasses

    Seriously Margaret… Don’t you think it’s about time you got glasses?