What has one leg and licks balls?
My amputee girlfriend.
Joke Type: one-liner
One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
-
Flappuccino
What is the female equivalent of teabagging?
A flappuccino.
-
Chinese Amputee
What do you call a Chinese amputee?
Tai Wan Shu.
-
Mike Tyson’s Religion
How can you tell Mike Tyson does not like religion?
Because he punches everyone on their faith.
-
Mirror Mirror
I want to have sex with someone who’s as attractive as I am.
That’s why I always masturbate in front of a mirror.
-
4 Tips for Guys for Successful Relationships
1. It’s really important to find a woman that you love and who loves you the same.
2. It’s really important to find a woman that sexually excites you and that she feels the same about you.
3. It’s really important to find a woman who will care for you and that you will care for her, in sickness and in health.
4. It’s absolutely fucking vital that these three women do not know each other.
-
Ketchup with old friends again
I just got back from the annual Condiment Convention.
It was nice to ketchup with old friends again.
-
The Times are rough
I’ve run out of toilet paper, so I’ve started using old newspaper…
The Times are rough.
