What about the guy who was aroused by loopholes in the law?
He got off on a technicality.
Joke Type: one-liner
One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Banana Affair: The Peeling Verdict!
Did you hear about the man who was found guilty of having sex with a banana?
He got off on a peel.
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Decoding DNA: National Dyslexic’s Association Explained
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic’s Association.
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Check-In With Jesus: A Divine Request
Jesus walks into a motel.
He puts three nails on the counter and says, “Can you put me up for the night?”
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Stuck in Ink: An Invisible Emergency!
I accidentally swallowed a bottle of invisible ink.
Now I am in the ER waiting to be seen.
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Mother-in-Law Showdown: Whose Is Nicer?
My wife accused me of liking my relatives more than hers. I told her that was absolutely not true.
I thought her mother-in-law was much nicer than mine.
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Potential vs Reality
A son tells his father he has a homework assignment due, and he can’t figure out how to complete it. The task is to explain the difference between theory and reality.
The father instructs him: “Go ask your mom if she would have sex with a stranger for $1,000,000.”
The mom says yes.
Then the father tells him to ask his sister the same question.
She also says yes.
The father says, “There. You figured out the assignment. In theory, we live with two millionaires. In reality, we live with two sluts.”
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Visiting the Zoo
A family is visiting the zoo.
While they’re watching the elephants, the little boy points and asks his mother, “Mom, what’s that hanging down underneath the elephant?”
“That’s his trunk,” she replies.
“No,” says the boy, “at the other end.”
“Oh, that’s his tail,” she says.
“No, no, the thing underneath!” the boy insists.
Realizing what he means, the mother blushes and says, “Oh, never mind that. That’s nothing.”
Confused, the boy turns to his father.
“Dad, what is that thing underneath the elephant? Mom said it’s nothing.”
The father looks at the elephant, then at his son, and says, “Well, son, your mother is just spoiled.”
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A wealthy widow is looking for a husband
A wealthy, lonely widow decided she needed a new man in her life, so she placed an ad in the newspaper:
“Wealthy widow seeks a man to share her fortune and life. Applicants must meet the following qualifications:
1. Don’t be aggressive toward me.
2. Never run away.
3. Must be extremely good in bed.”For months, she got plenty of calls and house visits, but no one met her criteria.
One day, the doorbell rang.
She opened the door and saw a man lying there without arms and without legs.
Confused, she asked, “Who are you? What do you want?”
“Hello,” he said. “Your search is over. I’m the man of your dreams. I have no arms, so I can’t hit you, and no legs, so I can’t run away.”
“Okay… well, do you think you’re good in bed?” she asked.
He replied, “Well, how do you think I rang the doorbell?”
